


If I Just Lay Here

by darkandtwisty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, F/M, Inner Dialogue, Maybe - Freeform, Protective Dean Winchester, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Sad, Scared Dean, Self-Hatred, Supportive Sam, Worried Dean, Worried Sam, dean cries, kind of, maybe not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkandtwisty/pseuds/darkandtwisty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and you are in a car accident and they don't know if you will make it or not. Dean breaks down over the thought of losing you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Just Lay Here

It happened so fast. One moment you were arguing with your boyfriend driving down the highway and the next your head was leaning against the dashboard of the impala, smoke surrounding you and Dean calling your name. You couldn’t move but you were almost fully conscious. 

 

“Y/n? Y/n, oh god, wake up baby, please look at me,” his hand brushed your hair over your shoulder, trying to see your face but not wanting to move you. "God damn it, where is my phone?”

 

You wanted so desperately to give him some sign that you were conscious, that you could hear him, but your body wouldn’t cooperate.

 

“Car accident…please…yes…my girlfriend.” Dean’s gravelly voice spoke into his cell phone.

You began to feel extreme pressure on your chest, and you could feel yourself slipping. You could hear faint sounds of sirens before you lost consciousness. 

 

“Y/n! Hey, stay with me!”

 

“She’s tachycardic and hypotensive!” A gruff voice yelled from above you, mixed with a loud beeping sound.

 

“Is she okay?”

 

“Sir, you can’t get up. Please stay lying down.” The other voice above you was calm and methodical.

 

“Answer me! Is she okay?”

 

“You’re gonna make it, just stay awake.”

 

Pain. So much pain. That is all your brain could register; that and the sound of your boyfriend yelling your name before your eyes fell shut once again.

“She’s gonna be okay.” Sam said resting a hand on his brothers shoulder.

“You don’t know that Sam! She coded three times on that table, and now we don’t know if she’ll even wake up or not!” He growled. Dean paused for a minute, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “Remember when I said that I don’t see a light at the end of this shitty ass tunnel? When she’s around, I do. It’s her. She’s my light at the end of the tunnel. That darkness that’s in me, she just- she lit it up. If she dies, I don’t-,” His voice broke, his head hanging low as he tried to keep the tears at bay that were threatening to spill over. “I never told her I love her, Sam. I never said those three simple words,” He scoffed. “Because of what, because I was afraid? God, I love her. It’s so easy to love her, I’m so lucky to love her Sam and because of my own stupid problems, I never told her that. She could die, not knowing that I love her, how am I supposed to live with that?” 

 

“Hey, she’s still alive, Dean. She could pull through. And she knew. Trust me, she could see it in the way you look at her. Everyone could.” Sam assured his big brother.

 

Dean just shook his head, eyes still trained on the floor. “But we don’t know if she’s gonna wake up or not Sam. You heard the doctor. The odds aren’t exactly in our favor here.”

 

Sam’s heart broke for his brother, and for you; you had become Sam’s best friend and the thought of losing you terrified him. He honestly didn’t know if his brother would be able to survive if you were gone. He would become so reckless and completely lose it.

 

“I’m gonna go get us both some coffee. We could both use it.” 

 

Dean just nodded as his brother slipped out of the hospital room. 

 

 

Dean sighed, running his hands through his hair, glancing at the monitor then back at you. He scooted his chair right up against your bed and took your frail hand in his. This was the first time his hand had held yours and you didn’t squeeze back, and the realization that he may never feel that again hit Dean like a truck. 

 

“You know, when you first started hunting with us, I could feel it even then. I don’t know how to explain it, just what I felt for you, has always been there. and it was something I had never felt for anyone else, and it scared the shit out of me. So I pushed it down, ignored it, pushed you away. Which was the last thing I wanted to do. I tried, I really did, but I just couldn’t stay away from you Y/n. No matter how hard I tried, I was in too deep. People around me get hurt, or killed or worse. I told you when we started this that I’m poison. I knew that if anything ever happened to you I couldn’t live with myself. I knew I couldn’t handle losing you. Not you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. You can’t die this way. We were supposed to fight all this together. You were supposed to get more than this. We were supposed to get more than this. I was gonna ask you to marry me. I don’t know if you can hear me but if you can, you gotta fight this Y/n. Sammy and I can’t do this without you. Especially me, I’m nothing without you baby girl. I promised myself that I would never let anything happen to you. I failed you Y/n. I couldn’t keep you safe. 

 

A choked off, broken sob shook Dean’s frame. "God this is all my fault. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry sweetheart.” 

 

 _Dean._ That was the first thought you had as you regained consciousness through the haze of medication. You felt a forehead resting against the top of your hand.

 

 _“God this is all my fault. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry sweetheart.”_

 

His voice was so strained, you’d never heard it quite like that before. You had never heard him sound so broken.

 

“D-Dean?” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was just something that popped into my head and I felt compelled to write it. Let me know what y'all think! Feedback is MUCH appreciated! Should I write a second part?
> 
> tumblr saw it first (;  
> deanscherrypie.tumblr.com


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